Dr Bruce Lipton PhD commented that “The moment you change your perception is the moment you rewrite the chemistry of your body.”
When Prince Harry’s book – Spare was published in January 2023, the media took a great interest in “his truths”, his recollection of his early life. But, and I say are these actually real recollections and the reality of the situation or are they perceptions based on Prince Harry’s level of recognition at that time?
Mostly, we see life through layers of emotions, and beliefs that have been superimposed based on the environment and peer group around us. These perceptions or biased view can cause problems for us throughout life and do not help us in any way other than in distorting the reality.
In many instances subjective perceptions can help us to bury hurtful emotions or events and as such play a part in making us who we are and how we operate in the real world. Someone I know very well perceived that to succeed did not grant recognition of endeavours and as such in her business has a habit of “bombing it” all the time. Never actually finding the route to succeed. The incident that gave her that perception goes back to the age of 8 when she won every race at her school sports day but was handicapped by the teachers more and more heavily at each race to equalise the standards from the others and was not given any awards for winning. In fact, in her words, she says she remembers trying harder and harder to prove herself and couldn’t understand why the head teacher gave her awards to the other contestants for just competing. She has carried that need for recognition ever since and yet doesn’t now feel worthy enough to really win.
Perceptions can be the bane of police work. An incident can occur, but all the witnesses will have seen something different. The suspect was “running” or was it “hobbling”, “he was tall and bent forward” or “he was short”. These narratives are not necessarily the result of eye-witness accounts but can be based on assumptions of the incident, possibly based on earlier experiences.
Some people hang onto their perceptions throughout life, even when presented with the evidence of the reality. To them it is reality because it happened and because to lose them could indicate that their whole life had been a lie. Others of course, have no understanding of perceptions from reality and carry on regardless.
One person’s perceptions cannot necessarily be the same as another person even within the same household. One man I know carries an idealised version of his childhood – saying that he had a brilliant childhood, but it seems from his conversation that he was brought up by his older brother. His parents seldom appeared in his conversations. It was always when (older brother) and I did this, and he took me there and we made this or that. To him it was a fantastic childhood however so much of his childhood missed out on learning social niceties, how to converse with others and actual relationships normally learnt from one’s parents. His learning therefore came from a young teenage boy who had his own incredibly young take on life. One of the resultants was he did not understand what “no” meant in a relationship and he ended up having several problems. The hero worship of a younger brother for an older sibling male role model.
This was a very needy person, the cuddles and love which normally emanate from a close relationship with one’s parents had not been forthcoming. He admitted that they were not a tactile family in any way shape or form but that they had loved him, that wasn’t deniable from other events that happened. However, he sought the intimacy from his relationships, naturally enough, but his expectations and perceptions of how that should be was totally distorted by his upbringing from a thirteen-year-old brother. A young teenager’s perceptions of love and life are not necessarily the views of a fully mature adult. The lack of seeing how others lived their life in family groups set his reality based on his family alone, albeit an extended family.
In a report I wrote of one client “your idealised version of life was not reality”. This man was in his 50’s at the time of the report and he too believed that his childhood had been fairly good until he was informed in his 40’s that he had been adopted by his parents, actually by his mother. His father was the real biological father who had had a fling with another woman; he persuaded his wife that they would formally adopt the boy. Naturally enough the wife never truly bonded with the boy, and he had always wondered why his mum was always distant with him. This doesn’t mean that his perceptions were wrong it just meant that events had not been as he envisaged.
How many children believe that they are foundlings? I know I felt that I did not belong in my family for some years and all of this whilst I was going through self-realisation with hormones raging and systems firing. My perceptions at the time were definitely skewed.
Perception can be wrong or right, it can be biased, it will vary from person to person whereas the reality is always right, it isn’t based on someone’s opinion or emotions. Perception can give us meaning to certain events which otherwise would be outside of our understanding. Perceptions can of course cause problems not only with religion but with politics and within families. Two people can see the same event but based on their interpretations which in turn is based on how they view life and how events have shaped their lives, can see two different incidents. Consensus then can be exceedingly difficult to mediate.
The issue then is to:
Through coming to terms with what has shaped who we are, the lessons we have learned, we can start to understand how our perceptions affect our daily lives. The Princes William, Harry and Charles would have shared memories but also perceptions based on their age and other factors including environment at the time of Princess Diana’s death. To each their own reality and those perceptions will differ hence the airing of emotions that we heard from Prince Harry.
In handwriting one sees the psychological result, and perhaps, the psychological event, as well as potentially male or female intrusions. In some cases, the actual age at which the event happened can also be identified.
To learn about the perceptions that you carry unknowingly the psychological analysis of handwriting can help lift the veil and give a better understanding of your formative years for your life now and in the future.
Would you be interested in learning more about this fascinating subject and learn to understand yourself through your handwriting? Recently, the course I teach was rated excellent by a student who also stated that it was insightful, thought provoking and moving. If you wish to learn more, I am now offering one-to-one graphology training which could help you to understand how perceptions can affect behaviour.
“The course was intense and packed with the challenging and fascinating processes used in graphology analysis. Christina taught this at a steady pace, with substantial resources, and expert knowledge transfer and made the course thoroughly enjoyable. I would highly recommend this course for business or pleasure.”
Jen Jarvie 2022
